Ugly Americans - S01E06 - So You Want to Be a Vampire, Kreskówy, ugly americans

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100:00:10,660 --> 00:00:12,800As you'd havethem do unto you.200:00:15,070 --> 00:00:16,800Ale co waｿniejsze,300:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,070nigdy nie oceniaj ksiｹｿki po okｳadce.400:00:20,110 --> 00:00:22,040St, krwiopijco!500:00:22,070 --> 00:00:24,040To nielegalna przemiana w wampira!600:00:28,580 --> 00:00:31,900Niestety, niektzy ludzie woge nie czytajｹ ksiｹｿek700:00:31,930 --> 00:00:33,730albo ich okｳadek.800:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,270Z tego co pami黎am, jedynym sposobem, aby chroni・si・przed nietoperzem900:00:36,300 --> 00:00:38,410to walnｹ・go prosto w nos.1000:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,610Mylisz nas z rekinami.1100:00:40,650 --> 00:00:42,280Och, doprawdy?1200:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,420A ty mylisz mnie z kim・kogo to obchodzi.1300:00:58,940 --> 00:01:00,340A tobie co si・staｳo?1400:01:00,370 --> 00:01:01,510Nic takiego.1500:01:01,540 --> 00:01:03,240Mam lekkiego kaca.1600:01:03,280 --> 00:01:04,780Co za sｳaby gatunek.1700:01:04,820 --> 00:01:07,250Nigdy nie zrozumiem ludzkich samc...1800:01:07,290 --> 00:01:09,820oraz samc koala, tak na marginesie.1900:01:09,860 --> 00:01:11,420Jestem podekscytowana dzisiejszym wieczorem.2000:01:11,460 --> 00:01:12,930Och, ja rnieｿ.2100:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,960Tylko przypomnij mi, dlaczego jestem tak podekscytowany?2200:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,760Nasza 666 rocznica.2300:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,000Sze懈 tygodni, sze懈 dni, sze懈 godzin2400:01:22,030 --> 00:01:24,040Odkｹd pierwszy raz uprawiali徇y sex w ｳazience.2500:01:24,070 --> 00:01:25,800Och, no, pewnie.2600:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,500Zapomniaｳe・i nic nie zaplanowaｳe・2700:01:27,540 --> 00:01:29,210Och, oczywi彡ie ｿe co・zaplanowaｳem.2800:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,170Ty po prostu...Przyjdziesz2900:01:31,210 --> 00:01:32,210Do mnie...3000:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,440O 7:00...Wieczorem.3100:01:36,850 --> 00:01:39,620Nie mog・si・doczeka・3200:01:39,650 --> 00:01:42,220Musisz uwaｿa・na te kubeczki po jogurtach.3300:01:42,250 --> 00:01:45,960Okay?3400:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,360Mｳody czｳowieku, jeste・tu z powodu...3500:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,330pry gryzienia i nielegalnego przeksztaｳcania w wampira3600:01:52,370 --> 00:01:54,170obywatela U.S.3700:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,640Your honor, I don't knowif I can make you understand3800:01:56,670 --> 00:01:58,970Or if you've ever hada true love in your life,3900:01:59,010 --> 00:02:01,170But if you were me, I wouldn'twant to get in the way of it.4000:02:01,210 --> 00:02:03,010That is, if I were a judge,4100:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,610Which probably won't happen,4200:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,180Because I'm leaningtowards pre-med right now.4300:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,550Wysoki s鹽zio, je徑i mog・4400:02:08,580 --> 00:02:09,780Nie moｿesz.4500:02:09,820 --> 00:02:11,980Oficerze Grimes, pan i pana department4600:02:12,020 --> 00:02:14,690posiada dｳugｹ histori・zwiｹzanｹ z brutalno彡ia co do wampir:4700:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,19025 zarzut napa彡i z czosnkiem,4800:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,490Excessive staking,4900:02:18,530 --> 00:02:20,560lekkomy徑ne uｿycie krucyfiksa,5000:02:20,590 --> 00:02:22,53014 counts of opening blinds.5100:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,970What is this, a trial or alifetime achievement award?5200:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,370Jest pan zawieszony dopi pan i pacy ludzie5300:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,370nie przejdｹ kursu panowania nad gniewem,5400:02:30,410 --> 00:02:32,540prowadzonym przez5500:02:32,580 --> 00:02:34,640Leonarda Powersa z usｳug spoｳecznych.5600:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,750Co?5700:02:36,780 --> 00:02:39,380Co do was dwh, macie przej懈 przez szkolenie dotyczｹce5800:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,550prawidｳowej przemiany w wampira.5900:02:43,590 --> 00:02:44,890Wｳa從ie kozy si・rozprawa6000:02:44,920 --> 00:02:47,490dobry, nietoperz oraz brzydki.6100:02:47,530 --> 00:02:49,630I wｳa從ie widz・ｿe wszyscy opuszczajｹ6200:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,360sal・rozpraw.6300:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,930Co uwaｿasz o decyzji sｹdu?6400:02:53,970 --> 00:02:56,740Bez wzgl鹽u na wszystko, miｳo懈 zawsze zwyci・y.6500:02:56,770 --> 00:02:58,070Jest takim optymistｹ,6600:02:58,110 --> 00:03:00,040A jego oczy zmieniajｹ kolor jak pier彡ionki nastroju,6700:03:00,070 --> 00:03:01,410i to taki drogi.6800:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,980Mi・tutaj o tych najwyｿszej jako彡i.6900:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,820Hej, jestem tutaj.7000:03:09,850 --> 00:03:10,890Wybacz, wybacz.7100:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,420Daｳem si・ponie懈 chwili.7200:03:14,990 --> 00:03:16,730Poruczniku Grimes, jest co・co by chciaｳ7300:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,100pan powiedzie・spoｳeczno彡i wampir?7400:03:19,130 --> 00:03:20,500Ta.7500:03:20,530 --> 00:03:23,300Dorw・was wszystkich.7600:03:23,340 --> 00:03:24,900Och, i hej, mamo.7700:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,040Jestem w telewizji.7800:03:27,070 --> 00:03:29,910Wszyscy, chciaｳbym przedstawi・wam dwh nowych czｳonk7900:03:29,940 --> 00:03:30,940grupy:8000:03:30,980 --> 00:03:32,940Tristan i Blake.8100:03:32,980 --> 00:03:36,010Damn, I'd like to getmy brain stem all up in that.8200:03:36,050 --> 00:03:38,280Hej, moｿesz okaza・troch・szacunku dziewczynie?8300:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,320Dziewczynie? Miｳem o wampirze.8400:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,450Jej, wszyscy gapiｹ si・na mojego cudnego chｳopaka.8500:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,520Jestem juｿ do tego do懈 przyzwyczajona.8600:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,160It's, like, par for the course.8700:03:45,190 --> 00:03:47,230Like, staring at my boyfriendis, like, a par four,8800:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,160And you all just hit the ballfour times.8900:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,760Rozumiecie?9000:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,330Nienawidz・wampir.9100:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,200Sｹ skｹpe i okradajｹ banki krwi.9200:03:55,230 --> 00:03:57,000I naleｿｹ duo rzｹdu cieni.9300:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,940Hej, to sｹ ohydne stereotypy.9400:03:58,970 --> 00:04:00,340Zobaczmy jak jest naprawd・9500:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,370Sprzmy.9600:04:01,410 --> 00:04:02,540Unikajｹ sｳoa.9700:04:02,580 --> 00:04:03,710Brak odbicia w lustrze.9800:04:03,740 --> 00:04:05,080Uczty z dzikich zwierzｹt.9900:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,510Okradajｹ banki krwi i naleｿｹ do rzｹdu cieni.10000:04:08,550 --> 00:04:09,520Miｳem.10100:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,020Mog・co・powiedzie・ Mark?10200:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,520Zapewniam was, ｿe te wszystkie obraｿajｹce przekonania10300:04:13,550 --> 00:04:16,320pochodzｹ z czas kiedy dziaｳaｳ ten wariat Van Helsing.10400:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,360W porzｹdku, moｿe masz racj・10500:04:18,390 --> 00:04:19,860Nie jestem pewien.10600:04:19,900 --> 00:04:22,030Ale s鹽zia powiedziaｳ, ｿe jeｿeli chcesz zosta・wampirem10700:04:22,070 --> 00:04:24,630b鹽ziesz musiaｳa zdoby・zgod・biura do spraw przemian wampir10800:04:24,670 --> 00:04:26,030tak jak kaｿdy inny.10900:04:26,070 --> 00:04:27,300I ile to zajmie?11000:04:27,340 --> 00:04:30,140Napisali tutaj...od sze彡iu do o徇iu tygodni.11100:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,870To naprawd・dｳugo.11200:04:32,910 --> 00:04:34,210Tylko tyle?11300:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,680My徑aｳam ｿe b鹽zie bardziej efektownie11400:04:35,710 --> 00:04:36,980jeｿeli ujm・to krko.11500:04:37,010 --> 00:04:40,480A teraz robi・pauz・dla dramatycznego efektu.11600:04:43,750 --> 00:04:44,850Dobra, zaczynam.11700:04:44,890 --> 00:04:47,520Nawet nie prujcie mnie goni・11800:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,490Wybacz, powinienem si・upewni・czy nic jej nie jest.11900:04:50,530 --> 00:04:52,490Oczywi彡ie, smiaｳo.12000:04:52,530 --> 00:04:53,800Czekaj! Wracaj!12100:04:53,830 --> 00:04:55,160Dlaczego pozwoliｳe・mu odej懈?12200:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,600My [bleep] is blocked.12300:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,200Zrozumcie, jeｿeli chcecie12400:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,200ｿeby wasz gniew po prostu odpｳynｹｳ12500:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,410musicie policzy・ trzy, dwa, jeden.12600:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,740Voila.12700:05:10,780 --> 00:05:12,850Co to ma wspnego z kontrolowaniem gniewu?12800:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,710Nie rozgniewaｳe・si・ prawda?12900:05:14,750 --> 00:05:15,780Masz racj・13000:05:15,820 --> 00:05:16,920Magia.13100:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,320Widzi pan, panie Grimes, "GOON" skｳad,13200:05:19,350 --> 00:05:22,890jeｿeli pomy徑icie o mleku jak o waszym gniewie...13300:05:22,930 --> 00:05:24,260Interesujｹce.13400:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,860Przemawia to do mnie.13500:05:25,900 --> 00:05:28,560Naprawd・ Rany, udaｳo mi si・13600:05:28,600 --> 00:05:32,100Powiedzcie, co porabiacie po pracy?13700:05:32,140 --> 00:05:35,010Wi鹹 to jest centrum do spraw przemian w wampiry... 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